Tor.. sorry this is late. You know I've been thinking of you!
So, how we met. I think it was back in... 2014? That rings a bell. I believe I was introduced to you through Emily Icke. Hope you two are having a good ol' catch up now! She was brilliant, just like you! I remember you telling me that you knew of me through social media and seeing me on telly, but we're naturally shy so felt awkward about coming up to me. But hey we met! How thankful I am we did. We only recently got very close, thanks to both being in clinic that day back around a year ago. I was in as my lungs weren't feeling their best, and you were in for a check up. We spent the entire day together. You, your mum and I. God I was thankful you were there. I was told I needed my first bronch in 8 years, and felt like having a massive cry. You waited for me to finish my consultation with Nonnie, waited with me to find out which ward I was on, and walked me there so I didn't feel alone. That's what a good friend was. From that moment on I knew I bloody loved you. You reassured me when I felt panicked, and by the time you left I was pretty content. When I found out that I had pre cancer, I came to you immediately, knowing you'd say the words to reassure me again. That's what you were so good at. Rationalising things to the point that If the conversation started unhappy, scared for the future and depressed, we'd end up laughing by the end. When I picture you, I only ONLY see you with that enthusiastic fantastic grin on your face. Despite the hell you've endured. Despite all the crap we both know doesn't have words to describe. That's what resilience is Tor, and you had that stoic attitude till the very end. I'm sorry we never got to go to the theatre together. I'm sorry we never got to see eachother away from hospital. I'm sorry we didn't have that time. But I can't tell you how grateful I am to all you've given me, in the space of a year. You celebrated my triumphs, you told me to shut up if I said I felt fat (lol!) and you told me to LIVE. We had both been dealt some pretty crap cards in our time. But I think we've both been able to make the best out of what we could. I'll keep doing it for you, gorgeous. I'm planning to go see The Phantom of the Opera when I'm allowed. I know you'll be sat with me the whole time. Me and Charlotte are going to get a high tea at some point too! And you know there will be a cheers for you. Thank you for all that you did. I miss you so fiercely. But I'm glad you're no longer in horrendous pain. I miss your little videos. The one you sent me after your mum received my picture I hold so dear to me. It was a privilege and an honour to know you, you becautiful woman. Now fly high angel, fly higher than them all, and shine for us all to see. You always did when you were down here with us. Love you my darling. Till we meet again. Soph ❤️
Sophie
10th June 2020